Shaking the dust off

Hey to any of you out there still reading (also, thanks for coming back after it's been so long)!

Big stuff first. This September I moved out to Stanford in northern California to start a masters program in mechanical engineering, and have officially finished my first quarter. I met an awesome guy on the internet and he now takes up more time than any one of my classes, but I don't mind (he's a part-time Stanford student while he works at Sun, and graduated last June too from Harvey Mudd, totally not sketchy at all). I also completed the Norcal Warrior Dash on October 31 with just about no training, 3.5 miles or so in 35:something or other, and finished in about the top 40% of everyone and way better than that for women only. Here's a picture of me jumping over flames for good measure:

Also shamelessly stolen from the professional photography website that wants to charge $20 for the version without the watermark

But here's something else big: the Golden Gate Headlands marathon, April 2, and I signed up. Here's more about it: http://www.envirosports.com/events/golden-gate-headlands-marathon-half-marathon-7-mile

Apparently it's got great views, but it will be a difficult double loop on a trail, so training on hills will happen. Luckily there's the dish, a very hilly 3.5 mile loop, about 1.2 miles away from my door, for when the runs get a bit longer.

Anyway, my boy is from Hawaii, which is where I am now and where I got to kick off week 1 of marathon training. This week I did 3-4-3-5 according to the plan, which really ended up being 3.7 - 4.3 - 2.6 - 5.3 but that's close enough. This coming week, the plan is 3-4-3-6. As long as I stay out of the major heat from 10-2, I'm okay. Made that mistake a few times this past week, though. Now I only have 15 more weeks to go, or 60 more runs including the marathon itself. I'll try to update at least once a week to give any thoughts I had on how the week went, or more if I have something to say. It looks like the plan will generally be:

M: short
T: slightly longer
W: rest
R: short
F: rest
Sat: loooong
Sun: rest

Rinse, and repeat. (The plan advises resting the day before and the day after the long run, so T/W can be switched, and the longest run is 18 miles.) Since I come back from Hawaii this weekend and head to New York the next day, the long run will probably have to happen on Friday this week. We'll see how it goes. Also need to gear up for the shock of east coast winter after all my balmy 70-80 F runs. Maybe I'll wish for it if I sleep in too much though, and get caught in that heat. Hmm.

Goodbye to bridge loops?

Yes, I intended this to be primarily a running blog. Unfortunately, I haven't been doing much running lately, not even since I became a college graduate at the beginning of June. Actually, make that any. At all the checkups following my second eye surgery, I grumble a bit about not being able to run like I want to. I make sure to ask about all the other details I can think of too--

Can I sleep on my back yet? (No)
Can I lift weights? (Only if they're very light)
Can I swim? (That should be okay)
Can I do anything besides the exercise bike? (Elliptical)
How long until I see with both eyes again? (Can't make promises)
How long until you'll be able to "call it" healed and I can go into maintenance mode? (6 months if everything stays fine...)

After the first surgery I looked forward to these frequent eye checkups, because every time I went I was allowed to do more things. At the end of June, though, I was told I could only do low-impact stuff and could still only pick from two sleeping positions. That's when I understood how worried my first surgeon was that the retina might detach again. (He's the one who, my mom says, returned after 3-and-a-half hours "looking like he'd been through the wringer" after the nighttime ordeal in February that took nearly twice as long as it should have. His partner did the second surgery, which was much less complicated except for that little hiccup where my retina wouldn't stay completely put and had to be fixed right there, hence the worry, I guess.)

So, turns out they were right to worry. This past Monday I was sitting in class (I'm tutoring for a summer program where we teach high school girls about mechanical engineering--staying local because I knew the air bubble would prevent me from being able to fly). I had been watching the air bubble's edge slowly retreat downwards, as the doctors said it would because everything in the eye is reflected along the x-axis. Closing the good eye and shaking my head slightly to make it move had become a new little tic since I began seeing the edge a few weeks ago. That day, I realized suddenly that everything had become much more dim and I could barely make out the formerly sharp dividing line as it jiggled. Doctor Number One had told me to call if I noticed any sudden decrease in vision, so I quietly slipped out of the classroom and called the office. Monday being July 5th, the office was closed (oh right) but I dialed "1" for medical emergency and spoke to the doctor on call, the new fellow (the old one liked to promise too much, like I might not even have to lie down for a whole week, ha). Unfortunately there was little point coming in since if something was wrong they wouldn't be able to do anything, so tomorrow would be better, etc. etc.

I spent the rest of the day worrying, trying not to snap at people, convincing myself that things would work out, verging on rage about the unfairness, and venting my stress to anyone at pika who would stand still long enough. Then at 9 am Tuesday morning I was in the doctor's office, within half an hour he had taken a few looks and decided my retina had certainly re-detached, and was laying out a plan of action which of course involved at least two more surgeries. The catch is he couldn't even see how bad it was because my cataract has grown so much, so I guess it was like trying to diagnose through a literal fog. He said he doesn't think it looks bad and it should be fixable.

So here's the deal: this Tuesday (three days from now), I will show up at 6:30 am (subject to change), and I will get a lensectomy, vitrectomy, membranectomy, silicone oil injection, and laser. You know, typical things a 22-year-old always wants. If nothing else goes wrong (and once they're sure it won't, maybe in 6 more months), I will get the oil taken out yet again and replaced with a new gas bubble, lie on my face, watch it disappear, don't fly, the whole drill. Dr. Number Two says he knows an important guy at Stanford Medical School, also an excellent retinal specialist, whom I'm sure I'll see a lot starting in September. Then, much later if I want (as long as everything stays fine) I can get a lens implant to replace the one they're taking. Apparently that's optional, though, unless I misunderstood, since sometimes people just use contact lenses. This detail prompted one of my pika friends to wonder just how much of your eye you actually need, since I apparently won't have (or need) a vitreous or a lens anymore, so I'll ask. Apparently the retina is pretty important, though, since that's the part they're actually worried about...

Ugh. If you're still reading, thank you. I just had to get this all out because every so often I get frustrated and upset about it all. All the things I can't do right now, everything I've been through and still have yet to come, the uncertainty and slim-but-still-present chance that in the end all of this won't even help and I'll just be half-blind forever. I would much rather not run for a year (or two, or...) than never be able to use the left eye again, so this is what I have to do. More updates to follow, I guess.

Not quite back, but here's a post

Turns out typing is pretty difficult when you have to keep your head horizontal. On my right side my bottom arm would get tired very quickly and/or lose circulation. On my stomach with the computer on the floor, both my arms were in awkward positions and there wasn't an ergonomic way to tilt both the keyboard and the screen. Sitting up, my hands were free but I had to crane my neck. So I saved most of the typing energy for gchatting with friends, which was time pretty well spent.

But, I've been upright for almost a week now (since Tuesday), so...here I am! Unfortunately, the only exercise I'm allowed to do so far is the stationary bike, and possibly the elliptical, which are a far cry from all the running I was doing. I had just gotten to the point where starting my runs felt like such a natural fluid motion, and something to really look forward to, not just something to do because I knew it was good for me and maybe eventually I would enjoy it.

Well, now I just get to look forward to it for a longer time. I see a doctor again on the 29th, and it's possible they'll also let me swim. I can understand that having even less depth perception than before makes them hesitant to tell me I can go run through the streets of Boston, and they're also worried about all the jostling, but there's nothing wrong with a nice, safe, low-impact pool, right? Maybe I'll even become a triathlete after all this cross-training. And, probably the coolest part is that I can watch the progress of the bubble in my eye as it dissipates. The doctor said I would start to see a line, and I finally noticed it on Friday. Apparently it will move downwards as it shrinks, since even though the bubble is actually floating, what you actually perceive inside your eye gets automatically mirrored in your brain (along the horizontal axis). I actually find this part awesome.

Anyway, for the past two days I've done a stationary bike workout, and while it's not nearly as satisfying as "going for a run," it is nice to watch the miles tick by so quickly on the counter. I average about one every five minutes, or twice as many as when I run for the same length of time. So far I've gone 20 miles in two days, assuming it's accurate, which seems reasonable. And it's really only as boring as what I bring with me to read. Yesterday was an issue of Runner's World, and today was some Feynman physics lectures. Maybe next I'll try a trashy magazine...

Ugh...

I'll write a real post when I'm more up to it, but for now, running will have to go on hiatus. I just had eye surgery yesterday (round 2 of 2, I hope!) and need to lie on my side or belly for a week, so typing is a little difficult. Beyond that, the doctors say I should avoid strenuous exercise for a month, so no running until July, looks like. I guess having sight in both eyes again (coming in August? September?) is more important than running for right now. I'll keep posting here, especially about my two runs last week, but unfortunately the real action will have to wait. In the meantime, something to celebrate: I am officially a "Bachelor of Science in Engineering as Recommended by the Department of Mechanical Engineering" at MIT. Whew, that's a mouthful.

Two Great Ones in a Row

It's been tough to update this blog as often as I'd like--as soon as I get out of the shower, I'm off to another event for Senior Week, MIT's week-long celebration for the graduating class involving free food and copious amounts of booze. And the almost nightly house-warming parties as we celebrate our first apartments and the feeling of maybe being an adult that goes with it--albeit adults with cardboard furniture. No real estate for me, though, since I'm back to dorm life, grad student-style, once I get to California in the fall.

Anyway. Last Friday's run was awesome! My first run with my new iPod nano, which is unfortunately so light that it likes to leap out of my pocket, but which still made my longest run yet go down really easily. I started slow, plotted out the route in advance, loaded up an album, and off I was. I stayed in the zone until six miles later, when I returned after just over an hour and bragged to everyone I saw about how now I can run almost half a half-marathon. And then, of course, I ate copious amounts of food, one of my favorite parts of running.

Two days later, on Sunday, I had another great time. This one was short--my usual 3 miles--but I could tell this one was going to be good. Even though it was 80 degrees, I could just feel myself being faster and lighter on my feet. And my legs felt strong beneath me. I took maybe one quick walking break, but made it through my "finish line" with a triumphant under-half-hour time of 29:17--my fastest since high school. This run was the first time I decided to make a playlist, then shuffle it. Not knowing what would come next, and then hearing a song I loved, definitely helped pick me up and set a good mood.

My conclusion: the persistence seems to be paying off, so I'll keep going!

On Running Partners

On Wednesday (also my 22nd birthday!) I got up early at 8:30 so I would be ready to go with Tess at 9. Having someone to go with definitely made it easier to get out of bed--I'm just as likely to decide to sleep another hour as I am to put on shoes and get out the door at this point, so thank you Tess!

The run itself was still hot. My guess is about 75, and temps later that day definitely got above 90. Talking made it difficult to keep up speed, but the run felt like it went by really fast: 33 minutes felt like about 15. I could tell Tess likes to go faster than I usually go, so I appreciated her keeping to my pace. That didn't stop her from speeding along to pass people though, with me catching up eventually. She's also much bouncier, even after just coming off of a foot injury! I'm a little jealous of her natural speed, but I think it'll come for me with some patience and diligence.

I'm still a little wary of doing too many runs with a partner. For most of my running life, it's been a very solitary activity for me. I started going out to escape the house for little bits at a time, and just have some way to think. I remember very specifically my first non-gym-class run on my own, in high school. Through middle school my first step mother, Debbie, was a big runner, so she and my dad got me some pairs of shorts and sneakers and I'd go out with her for about 10 minutes at a time.

Then, one day in 9th grade my mom was picking me up from school. My sister, then 12, was in the front seat and very unhappy about something or other, so she started kicking things and managed to crack the windshield. That only made my mom yell even more, all the way home. As soon as I got out of the car, I ran up to my room, changed, said, "I'm going for a run!" then left them to their yelling match. That happened a lot in high school, and with my sister and mother filling the house with their fights, it was nice to get out alone and have some quiet save for my own breathing.

In 10th grade I made friends with Christelle, in my gym class, a french girl who looked like a model except for her height. When we discovered we both liked to run, and that we only lived a few blocks apart, we would meet every Monday or Tuesday and head out together. This went on for a few months until one day in December, when I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to go out, but she convinced me to anyway. I wore sweatpants, which I never did (I would wear shorts until it got below 20F back in high school) and a sweatshirt. I also cut the run short (which I also never did) and went straight home instead of detouring up the long, steep hill on McKinley like always.

After I got home, I got a fever and ended up missing nearly a week of school. After I got better Christelle wanted to run with me again. I did a couple times, but it was definitely no longer a regular thing and running again became a mostly solo activity. I've run with other people since then, like my dad and Debbie over thanksgiving weekends (though I much preferred circular routes to the out-and-back Debbie liked to do). Also in 10th grade, I decided to try the spring track team as well, but it was absolutely not for me--something I may get into in a later post.

Anyway, I had more mixed experiences with running partners after that. In 12th grade I ran with my high school boyfriend a few times, until one run in particular when we went on one of his routes, ended up getting lost, and went 7 miles by accident. My knees hurt after that one, since I had never gone more than 5 before and didn't do it on a regular basis. After that I was a little wary of other people's routines again, and it was almost summer anyway, which meant tennis for me.

So for now, running with friends will definitely be an option--it's fun, makes it go by faster, and we get to revel in our accomplishment together. But on days when I'm going to push distance more than usual, like I plan to today, I'm going to go it alone. That way I can really pay attention, take walking breaks when I need to, and go just as fast (slow) as I want.

Two hot sub-31's

Ugh, this heat! Today is definitely the hottest day yet. Today I also didn't go out. I'm trying to get up earlier--something that's become really difficult since leaving high school--so I can avoid the heat and get the run done before I have time to make excuses.

I've been successful on half of that. Running seems to be becoming more habit than not, and I'm ever so slowly getting quicker. Even though it may not feel quick enough to me. Patience, consistency, blah blah blah. I still haven't run two days in a row, because I'm a little wary of getting injured. I notice early in all of my runs that the bottoms of my feet seem to be getting sore, which would be a new injury if it developed into anything more. Hopefully I can keep that from happening.

The other half of the equation is much more of a problem: damn heat! On Saturday I headed out at 11 (yes, I know, much too late) and ran straight through some festival thing on the esplanade. I could see, or projected, a little exasperation on all the other runners' faces as we darted and dodged around people strolling leisurely with their ice cream and other festival food. But I escaped and made it home for my first 30:57, my fastest yet since I started running again.

Yesterday, two days later, I went out at 10 am--nice try, self, but still too hot. Things were a lot less crowded, and I finished with a sprint to try to make it in under 31 minutes again. Same time, 30:57. My heart rate reached 200 by the end.

I want to get faster, but it's a tough balance between staying fresh and non-injured, and the seconds that keep on coming. I will walk a little when my HR gets beyond 180, so that makes it slower. One nice holdover from my tennis days is that I recover really quickly, so the HR goes way down as soon as I stop running. Still, it would be nice to not have to walk. I'll get there, I know, it'll just take some persistence. And maybe some cooler weather: next attempt will probably be a 9am.